


Back to the Start

by Scarlettwrites



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Pining, Poor Loki, Pre-Thor (2011)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-29
Updated: 2017-11-29
Packaged: 2019-02-08 08:06:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12860349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scarlettwrites/pseuds/Scarlettwrites
Summary: Loki and Y/N have known each other for a long time, trading books and speaking of science and magic. There's a flame there, but the two of them are realistic. Loki will marry someone of power and status, and Y/N will continue on.Yes, another songfic, thanks Coldplay for the feels.





	Back to the Start

**Author's Note:**

> Half songfic, half AU, all feels.
> 
> I wanted a pre-thor so that it could be more family-like I guess with Odin and Frigga (and also to avoid having to incorporate movie plots). This is based loosely on The Scientist by Coldplay as well as a short story a girl in my writer's group wrote. I'll explain the short story (the "novel" in this fic) at the end for you.

“Hello Loki, I had to come find you, to tell you about this book.” Y/N entered the gardens at a quick pace with a little red leather-bound book in her hands with an eager smile. Loki returned a smile and reached for the book.

“What’s it about? Surely it’s not another math book?” He took the book straight from her hands flipping through the pages.

“It’s a love story, actually,” Y/N began, “it’s about a young boy with all he could ever ask for. He meets a woman and eventually he gives up everything he loves for her.”

“Y/N. I do not read such feminine things, you know this.” He handed the book back to the girl, but she wouldn’t take it. Instead she looked at him softly, with her Y/E/C eyes reflecting the sun as it set on the horizon. He gave into those eyes every time. “Fine, I will give it a try.” He tucked the little red book under his arm and Y/N’s soft pleading look turned into a great big smile. He would never read a love story, but for her he’d skim over it.

-

“You didn’t tell me it was a tragedy Y/N!” Loki exclaimed as he rushed into her lab with the book. Putting her beaker down and removing her safety goggles she gave Loki a chuckle.

“You finished it already? It’s been a day!” Y/N looked up at Loki’s emerald green eyes which were filled with the look of pain and sadness, “I didn’t think you would consider it a tragedy, I don’t.”

“It’s a sad story.”

“How?” She leaned against the lab table before lifting herself to sit on top of it. Loki moved to sit beside her, holding the book in his hands. He made sure to keep looking at the book, avoiding Y/N’s gaze.

“She loved him, and he loved her. When it came time for him to choose his partner, he chose the girl that would allow him to keep his wealth and she moved on.” He flipped through the pages and stopped on one with the corner folded down, “If you had not marked this page I would have, it is the best part of their story.”

He began to read from the top of the page, _“He looked at his soon-to-be wife, the woman he would spend his life with, the one who would give him children and help to build his future. This is what the end goal is, what is supposed to make you feel complete, all he felt was disgust. But it was for her, it had always been for her.”_

“Yeah, Loki. He did it all for the woman he loved.”

“No, he gave up the woman he loved!”

“But it was for her own good, don’t you see that?”

“How so? If they cared so deeply for one another, should they not be together?” His voiced cracked with the question as though this was his life.

“She would have been ostracized, being from such a poor family. She would have been targeted by everyone- talked about and ridiculed. And she would have been miserable knowing that she would never have children, something she wanted. In the story, a high-status man MUST have kids with a high-status woman, all other children will be given away or made poor even if they are legitimate.”

“This way of living in the book- why would someone think to write this?”

“Because Lo,” she placed her hand over his, coercing him to meet her gaze, “even in this dystopian world in this book, love still conquers all. He gave his love up so that she would be free. So, she would live a life without cruelty, keep her kids, live her life.”

Y/N almost leaned in to kiss the raven-haired boy, but rather titled her head to rest on his shoulder. He laid the book down and took her hands into his.

“Let us not be those two in the story.” The young prince said.

“Loki it is just a story, you won’t have to worry about that stuff in real life.”

“I do! I will be married off to someone ‘suitable’ when mother and father find a deal or alliance they need a marriage to solidify” He tightened his grip on Y/N’s hands, “and I will marry them so long as I have nothing holding me back from the commitment.”

“Loki...” Y/N lifted her head and looked at him with big eyes, she was aware of what he meant. They had never spoken of it before, but they had always been so close. There was no denying the feelings between them, but just like the couple in the novel, Loki and Y/N were from different rungs of the social latter, and she had little to offer a prince.

“Brother!” Loki said, pulling his hands away and standing up to greet Thor.

“Loki, Lady Y/N.” Thor said with a grin, “I am sorry to interrupt but mother and father would like to speak to you about this upcoming feast.” And there it was. The feast that both Loki and Y/N had not looked forward to. It would serve as celebration for Thor’s coronation and Loki’s engagement to another kingdom or realm’s princess no doubt.

“I will find another book, since you seem to read so quickly, I will try to make it a longer one.” Y/N said, fighting back the tears she could feel prickling in her eyes. Finally, they had acknowledged their situation and just like that, all hope was thrown out the window.

“Yes, thank you.” The brothers turned and walked away.

-

She was beautiful, the woman that Odin and Frigga had picked for Loki. Her name was Sigyn, and she was wearing his colors already, a gold dress engulfed by a dark green cape. Y/N watched from one of the dining tables as they smiled at each other, danced and engaged in conversation throughout the night.

“Lady Y/N, something troubles you?” A fragile voice said form behind her, she turned to find the queen, tilting her head to the side with a motherly look.

“Oh, my Queen, I apologize for bringing down the party.”

“Nonsense dear, I simply worry about those my sons care for.”

“Thank you, however I’m afraid there is no use in speaking of what bothers me.” Y/N said, smiling at the queen as convincingly as she could.

“When I was younger, and Odin and I were first married, I was in love with another man.” The queen began, “I let him go to marry the man you see on that throne for the good of the people. It was not out of love, but eventually I learned to love him and it grew into what it is today. I would do many things for that man as well as my children, and while I know that he would rather be elsewhere, Loki will come to love her the way I came to love his father.”

Y/N felt the tears coming, and Frigga wrapped her in a warm embrace. “I know it hurts child, but Odin does not make decisions without thinking how it will affect our people, and this will unite kingdoms for millennia to come.” The women broke apart as the sound of someone clearing their throat interrupted the moment.

“Mother, I apologize. I was hoping I could steal Y/N away for a dance?”

“My son,” is all she said as she placed a hand on his cheek before walking back to her husband.

“I would love to dance Lo.” Y/N said, taking a step towards the floor. The song started with piano and the words took over as they walked towards the dancefloor.

_Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry, you don't know how lovely you are_

Loki took her hand and led her to the center of the room. He wrapped one arm around her waist while the other gently held her hand in his. They were closer than the dance called for, Y/N laid her head on his chest to hide the sadness in her eyes. Loki didn’t mind, it would hide his pain as well.

_I had to find you, tell you I need you, tell you I set you apart_

He thought back to what Y/N had said about the book she had him read, and how it was a great depiction of their own story.

_Tell me your secrets, ask me your questions, oh let’s go back to the start. Running in circles, coming up tails, heads on a science apart._

The two of them were silent, Loki looked to his soon-to-be-wife and she was returning his gaze with a smile. He could learn to love her, but a part of him wanted the natural connection he had with Y/N.

_Nobody said it was easy, it's such a shame for us to part. Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be this hard. Oh, take me back to the start._

The two of them swayed to the music, as their friends and family looked on. It was no secret that the two shared such strong feelings for one another. It was also no secret that Loki’s marriage was a crucial part of Asgard’s future.

_I was just guessing at numbers and figures, pulling the puzzles apart. Questions of science, science and progress do not speak as loud as my heart._

“I love you Loki.” Y/N whispered quietly. There was a pause and she almost thought she had said it too quiet for him to hear. But soon the hand that had held her hand in it let go and moved to her waist. He pulled her tight against him and their dance turned into more of a swaying hug.

Tell me you love me, come back and haunt me. Oh, and I rush to the start. Running in circles, chasing our tails, coming back as we are.

“I love you too, and I was serious about only following through with this marriage if nothing was holding me back.”

_Nobody said it was easy, it's such a shame for us to part. Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be so hard._

“You have to marry her. Before you try to fight me on it, or say that you don’t care, or you’ll do what you want. I am telling you as a woman that loves you- this is important, and you need to follow through.”

“But-“

“Loki, nothing between us will change, we’ll be how we always have. But you need to do this for Asgard, for your mom and dad, for your brother and friends. For me”

“Ah, I finally understand.” He cupped Y/N’s face as she brought her eyebrows together in confusion, “I am sorry.”

_I’m going back to the start._

The two of them smiled at each other and separated as the song faded out. Loki went to find Sigyn and Y/N went to her lab after sitting around chatting for an hour to work on her research. After all, she would not find comfort in sleep tonight, so she might as well get some work done. She sat down at the table and looked at the end where the little red book was laying.

She opened it up found something written on the title page.

**It is for you, and it will always be for you.**

_Ah, of course,_ she thought as she closed the book and smiled, she was the everything that he gave up, _how bittersweet_.

**Author's Note:**

> So this short story was about a man and woman who lived in a 4-tiered society. If you married out of your class then you would be outcasted (only the woman) and ignored and if you had children they would be forced to live as a Class-1 child regardless of the parents' classes. Basically the two fall in love (their names are Arthur and Kate) and Arthur is a Class-4 while Kate is a Class-3. They confess their love for one another, and then Arthur says he would marry her if not for her class. Kate takes it the wrong way and they part ways forever. Arthur marries a Class-4 woman who he ends up hating, but does it for Kate's sake to make sure that she never has to deal with being outcasted. It was a beautiful story and Y/N's interpretation of it in this story is my writer's group friend's interpretation. Hopefully if you were confused or curious, this helps.


End file.
